Harshest Break-up Ever, "I Waited In Vain On My First Outfit On The Day Of My Trad" | Omalee Blog

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Harshest Break-up Ever, "I Waited In Vain On My First Outfit On The Day Of My Trad"


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I thought  I've  heard the  worst  break- up  story  after  my mum told me the story  of  her friend's  daughter  who was with  her boyfriend  on  the  night before the  morning  he travelled to his hometown to go pay the  bride  price of  his wife- to- be, the  poor  girl was relaxing in the  guy's  apartment  while  he was in his wife- to- be's house  negotiating with her family,paying her bride  price and fixing  a date for  her traditional  marriage.

I was upset with  myself for  not turning  off my phone before  lying down to take  my siesta, due to the nature of  my job, siesta means a lot to  me, it helps me clear off  my head and get ready for the  remaining  hours  before  dusk, so you  can imagine my frustration that  moment  my phone  buzzed and  notified me of  some  messages,

I picked up my phone and  scrolled through, then my eyes fell on a particular   mail because of the subject, it read "Help Save A Soul",guickly  I rushed to  my gmail and started  reading, what  I read on that  mail will be in my  memory for the  rest of my life.

I say this everyday to people around me, "don't  love anyone so much that  you will  be blind to  red flags!! Please don't, I'm  warning  women  everyday  because they are mostly at the  receiving end.

And to whoever it may concern, please  if at anytime  in your relationship  you  have to  walk away, please  kindly  call the  attention of the individual you are in the relationship with and tell that  individual that you are  ending things, tell them in which ever way  you  deemed  right  but not  by  giving them poison  through  shocking  acts,

If anyone is going into a relationship, that  individual  should know that  even relationship with  self is difficult  talk  more of a relationship you are  having with a whole  different person,someone you are just  meeting,falling in love and getting to know and understand  one another  is not enough to make it a heaven without  odds and  difficulties, every  individual  should  be ready at anytime to accept the  truth  no matter  how disappointing  it may be.

Understand that  knowing a disappointing truth is  better than wondering  forever, often times  people  feel it will be  hard to bear if the  person  who loved them so much  have them call off the   relationship  they are in with  them so they  decides it's  better to  hide certain things  and get them to  find out the  truth  by themselves, how about the  situation where  the  person  has  soft nerves and   cannot  take in shock?

Emotional  attachment is very  deep and sensitive, it connects  the  brain and  soul, this is one reason  a lot of people  can't  bear or handle  break -ups. so the way you go about it  matters a lot.

Just like  Kate's  story, it was her traditional marriage day, guests  have  arrived, her family  have been  busy  from the  day before  prepared  the  ground ,the  cooks were  busy  cooking and serving  different  dishes, the  cooling  van parked and  drinks  were been  served  chilled,

Kate  dressed up in her first outfit  waited  in her family's  living room with  her Asoebi  team,for  her  husband and  his family to show up, the  Dj had different  songs  playing, track after track, it was  celebration  galore and  joy was in the  air.

She didn't  see it coming, nobody  did, according to  Kate "it was a blissful  5 years relationship  with  Claudio,we started dating  from the  NYSC camp where we met, coming from different  universities,we knew  nothing about each other, but it was a  quick  connection, we found each other's company   welcoming and  warming, it didn't take long and we realised we can hardly  spend  hours  apart, we've fallen in love, luckily for both of us we didn't have any ongoing  relationship, so it was easy for us to hit things up, we left the  camp and I  got a  job in one of the  telecommunication  companies while  Claudio  joined  his family  business ,

He was from a neighbouring  state, his family accepted me the  moment he took  me to meet  them, my family  also accepted him, he was doing well at work and  had a comfortable  life, I also  had life  going fine for me.
We were in love and  there's nothing  holding up back, on the eve of  his 30th birthday  Claudio  proposed to me and  I accepted, it was the  happiest day of my life, I was  going to  live with the love of my life, the  best  man I've  known on earth,

Our families  accepted the  date Claudio  and I presented to them, preparation  began and I waited  excitedly, minutes after minutes  we texted and called one another ,we shared  our happiness and readiness to embrace the  new  life we are finding  ,it was surreal.

So you  can understand  my shock and  grief when  on my  traditional wedding  day Claudio  didn't  show up, I tried to hold  myself  together  when it  became  clear that  he's not going to show up but I couldn't, I remembered  the light  feeling  in my  head and eventually the  fall, I hated life when I realised that  I didn't  die! I only  fainted,

What  went wrong? Where  did I go wrong? I'm  still  asking  these questions "


I got in touch through  the  number that was  in the  mail and it was a familiar  name ,he directed  me to talk to  someone whom  I later found out was Kate's  older sister,
What caused the  break up? The  harshest  I've  heard? It was because  Claudio's   older  sister  found out  her little brother was about to get  married to a girl she  sold to a particular  couple  over  26 years ago ,while she worked at a maternity home  as a matron,she said the  baby was taken away from a mad woman  few hours after  she was delivered .

Kate had a brother  but her parents  didn't  mention it to  her at anytime that  she and her brother  were  not their  biological  children. Claudio's  sister  visited  their  would be  in-law's house and  met her former  customer ,Kate's  parents ,getting  back  home  she insisted that the  marriage  must  not hold.

If it's enough  to  stop an already  planned  marriage is what I  need you to tell me, and also if it's  an  ideal  style to break up the way Claudio  did?
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