Omalee Blog : Cheating
Showing posts with label Cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cheating. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Wrong Dating,I Know Everything Is Wrong About Loving Him But I Don't Want To Stop.

Lovers out on a date.

You have ever been with a wrong  date?Have you ever loved someone so deeply that it  felt like your life is worthless without them?they lied to you severally yet you accepted it and wished it's the truth?

The lies were so much because he needed to conceal his identity, he refused to change his relationship status on Facebook because he wanted to hide the truth,I found out all of these ,still I can't keep away from him.

"Cheryl  you're a fool" my immediate younger sister spat out at me,I know but I was cool with that, Franklin  was my life and that's all I cared about, ours wasn't a healthy relationship but It's the sweetest I have had and I loved him like no other

 I fell in Love with Franklin, you know the early morning text and late night conversations at weekends. He crept into my heart with his dotting and caring.Franklin was  an amazing dude,his charisma and confidence  was out of this world.

He lived in Saudi Arabia and I lived in the UK,his busy schedule as a medical doctor gave him little space for traveling so we made do with calling and messaging.

Holiday came and we agreed to travel  for the winter  break  .we're from the same country but different States, We  met in London and travelled home together, we got into the capital territory and decided to spend two days before  leaving for our various home,till date it remained the best two days to remember,

I knew Franklin was caring but staying closer to him   made me realise the gem I got in a man,it was a love filled-fun packed breathtaking two days,simply put Franklin was sweeter than honey,more romantic than Romeo,

It was hard for us to leave each other's company but we had to because it was the festive  period and we had to meet up  with our different  families.Reluctantly he returned to his state  while I traveled to my own state, we agreed to meet  two days after Christmas day..

Two days to the day we scheduled to meet Franklin called me to tell me that  we should postpone the appointment because of some family engagements he needed to fix,he hasn't been home in the past two years so everybody  was  waiting for him.

I cried like a baby,he pleaded with me and   asked   that I should understand and bear with him, I've gotten used to Franklin keeping me company ,on the phone though, that visit was the needed opportunity for us to spend  more real time together and see if something real could happen between us for good.I was heartbroken.

After Christmas celebration he told me we could meet on 3td January, again he cancelled it,I didn't find any word that could describe how horrible I felt.My younger sister didn't find it funny at all, she felt I had too much expectations and I was being over dependent on a guy I had  no solid relationship with.

I clinged  to my sister and saw the holiday to an end,with the festive period over, I packed my stuff and headed to Lagos ,I'd spend few days in Lagos before traveling back to the UK,Surprisingly Franklin  showed up,he  apologized,gave all manner  of excuses and promised to be good, at this point my gut already warned me to be careful.

I was careful though but Franklin was exceptionally good.He was  kind,caring and amazingly romantic,I can say I was lost in lust for him

It wasn't  easy for me to keep him away from me,once his eyes locked with mine.I'd  melt and get  consumed in his endearing passion . I believed he  was truly crowded so I forgave him.

Back in Europe life continued .I enjoyed his  endless doing.He gave me everything and more,He wouldn't tell me much about his family "I'm the person in love with you and not my family" Franklin would tell me whenever I asked questions about his immediate family, I'm good in respecting boundaries so I'd always leave talks about his family out of our discussions

One evening my sister sent a message that I should come on WhatsApp ,I did and she sent me two photographs. I opened it and saw Franklin carrying a new born baby with the caption "Thank God for his blessings.Little Hildah is here"

There's no denying it,Franklin was married.

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Tuesday, January 29, 2019

I Have Been Caught Cheating (part 1)Why I Cheated

I have cheated  twice, twice I have been  caught,to me it was more like  "good riddance to bad nonsense " but inside  me it was an ugly scene /experience, it gave me this  gory feeling, you  know  that  type of feeling you get,you  wanted to  play a fast one  and stay clean but just at the  moment  you are   at the  middle of it, someone  comes in,
But like the  saying  goes "everything that  happens in   life  has a lesson it teaches  if only one is able to  observe it"

I cheated  and I learnt  something.

No 1,I  learnt that  you  cannot  cheat on someone you  truly  love  and care for.

Yes the  first time  I cheated on  my boyfriend, it was in my very  young  life , Cornelius  and I were  friends from high school, to me it was just friendship  but Cornel (as he was called)  took it seriously, he saw me as his lover and the  only woman  he loved, he sent me tons of gifts,whenever it's Valentine's  Day he made out time to  create  beautiful   words on a beautiful card,he designed  handkerchief  with  photos of  me,  and sent  them with  body  spray or deodorants, he was a student  but he tried  in his little way to show me how much  he cared about me, unfortunately It wasn't  same for me, I  didn't  feel anything  special for him, I wasn't even  sure if I liked him enough to  want to spend  a day in his company,

Whenever  he visited my family house during  holidays, which was the  only time  we get to see because we attended different  high schools,I   always wished  he didn't  come around and he had this habit of  spending  very  long time in my house on each of his visits,it was usually terrible  for me enduring  his stay, trying  so hard to join  him in a conversation  I wasn't  enjoying.

My sister  noticed that I didn't  like  his company and  persistently advised me to end  the  friendship, it was obvious we're on different  lane, so one evening  I wrote a  comprehensive  letter and explained to  him why I felt we should  not be acting a relationship that  both of us weren't truly involved in, he came around as usual, on the road  while  seeing him off, I gave him the  envelope containing the  letter .

I didn't  see Cornelius  for days, I was happy and relieved ,finally  I was let out of the  cage. I was already  breathing a fresh   air, but few days before  schools resumed  Cornelius  popped up!!

This time he wanted us to be 'Just friends",no emotions  attached, I agreed but it was not because  I liked it, but because of the  guy Cornelius  introduced to me as his "second  male self '!his name was Kingsley. Cornelius  told me Kingsley was his childhood friend, they  attended  same high school and they're  in the  same university, reading  the  same course ,on the same level.

Immediately I  saw Kingsley  something  happened to me, I felt this rush in my veins waves of sweet feelings  rushed  through  my nerves to my heart and  I felt  my heart  throb, when he took my hand in his for a friendly  handshake, my body shivered inside and  my legs  wobbled , I rushed to the couch and sat down  so I won't  give  myself  away,kingsley didn't  take  his eyes off me throughout  their  stay, they  left eventually and my emotions  were torn apart.

For the first time in my life  I experienced  a sleepless thoughts were scattered, so many thoughts  raced through my head, so many questions that  I couldn't answer.
Where was  Kingsley all these time? this was what  my heart  had wanted, the  kind of feelings my body yearned for ,why was he Cornelius  friend? how was I going to  get through this? So many questions, at the end I couldn't answer  any and  I spent   a whole night  not sleeping .

I was at the  courtyard in my house  late in the evening the  next day, I lost  appetite  for any food, I was not ready to confide in anybody, not even  my  sister, how do I begin to explain to people that I was suddenly  loving  my  friend's  best friend? I was  playing with  my  phone  when suddenly I heard  someone  call my name, I looked up and it was Kingsley.

Let me paint a little picture of what  Kingsley  looked like,   chocolate skinned Kingsley  stood  about  6 feet tall, he had this   charming smile on his face that revealed  his awesome dentition, his nicely built body had the most disarming  biceps I have seen, he knew he's  cute and  smiled  endlessly to kill anybody who dared to  get closer.
I was wishing  my thoughts were right, something kept telling me that  Kingsley would  come around all alone, I saw it in his eyes that day he visited with  Cornelius.

I jumped up  on my feet to welcome him  and found  myself  in his embrace,we sat  down and started gisting, by the time  he was leaving  my family house, we felt like we've known each other from childhood.

We knew what we wanted, there's  no space for pretence, we liked each other and we were attracted to each other,there was no need  for  negotiation,kingsley and I agreed to have a relationship, few days into  our meeting.

I can't  be able to  paint the  true reflection of  my feelings  because it was  awesome, what  I felt for him remains  one of the  best feelings I have ever had, it was mutual, Kingsley  cared for me in a very special way, we never had enough of each other's company, we shared similar interest and ideology, we thrilled one another  with  soul warming conversations,kingsley was super intelligent,every moment together  was savoured and it wasn't enough.

We knew  we had to keep our relationship away from Cornelius, we didn't know how long it will take before he'd find out, we knew we were doing something that someone would  definitely  hurt from anytime it   blows open  but we didn't  give a damn ,what  mattered to us. was what we felt and  what we had.

Midway into  my third year in the university and Kingsley was  doing  his fifth and final  year, Cornelius  found out we have been  together for almost two years,

Schools were on vacation and everybody  was home, Cornelius  has visited me countless times  but I didn't even bother to  check up on him, I always found a reason to  not  stay home whenever  he came around, but I spent  almost every of my  free time with  Kingsley, so that  fateful day, I was with  Kingsley in his bedroom,we were playing around and gisting, we didn't notice  Cornelius  came in, he obviously  saw us holding  one another ,the  door was  slightly open, he sat on  one of the  sofa in the  living room  Kingsley  shared with his older brother in the  side of the  wing their  dad  gave them in one of their  family housel.
Kingsley  left to get some  fruits  from the  refrigerator in his kitchen  and saw him, I overheard him exchanging  pleasantries with  someone, he came in and whispered to me that  Cornelius was in the living room,that moment  my   body froze, I stopped  talking, I tiptued close to the  door and  peeped through the curtains and saw him! He sat with  his hands  supporting his head.

I didn't come out  till  dusk, he was still  seated in the same  position  I saw him earlier, I walked  down stairs through the kitchen to where  Kingsley parked  his car and he drove  me home,

Two days  later  my sister  came into my room with an envelope and told me Cornelius  came in and dropped  it with  her and left. I opened it and it was  photos of me, all the  items  I shared with him and a note, it was a  long note  ,he wrote the  history of his friendship with  me and how I finally  decided to  knife him, he wrote and I quote  "in all the things you  did, one that  feels unbearable to me, you  counted  me unworthy to be respected by accepting  friendship with  my second  male self  Kingsley '
I knew I felt  pity for him, I didn't know if I would have pushed  Kingsley out of  my mind and went on, but went on with what? For all I know  there was nothing there  for Cornelius,I felt  nothing for him, no iota  of love, and maybe  I didn't  care  a thing about  how he'd  feel, all I was about was  what I felt for Kingsley and that was the  most important thing, and I agreed  it's not possible to  cheat on the person you truly  love and  care for, in all the time Kingsley was in my  life, it was  just two of us together, I didn't  notice  there was any other  man living on earth.
We didn't  end up  in marriage  because of a reason  I will  talk about in subsequent post,but one thing you should take from me is that if you are  cheating on the  person you  claimed you love, then it's  simply because you  don't  love them enough to  care about  hurting their  feelings  or because you  don't  respect them.

Let's talk about respect in the  next blog  post.
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Friday, January 18, 2019

Have You Ever Loved A Married Man? Yes, My Worst Experience Ever . Read My Candid Response To My Client's Question.

Dear Chioma, Please  I want to  ask you a question and I need an urgent response  because I am losing my  sanity
Have you ever been in love with a married man?

Honestly this is the situation  I found  myself in ,Am madly in love with a  married  man, And now it is like he  met another girl!,suddenly  his attitudes  towards  me changed,I don't understand him much again
:I am so disturbed.

Yes I have loved a married man so deeply ,he felt something  very strong for me,

It felt  like  I would  not live  without  him, it was  difficult for me to go a day without  him.

I still  remember with  nostalgia  though  how many times I  wished  he wasn't  married  and wished  something would  happen and  he sends  his wife away, so I can have  him all to myself,
His was a young  marriage, he loved  his wife  and does everything to make her happy, I was filled with  jealousy, at night  I stayed up biting my  lips, knowing  fully well he's  curled up his wife in a warm embrace, most likely  stroking  her hairs, kissing  her and cuddling  her and  eventually  ending the night and  starting the  new day, making  sweet  passionate  love, it was  killing  those  crazy thoughts  always  fill  me up with  rage.

I sent messages at odd times  just to  get his attention and probably  distract  him from his wife.

Now I always imagine how  I would  feel if some other  girl was doing  all these for my husband and I found out.

He made it clear at every opportunity that  he had no plans for divorce, he knew  he wanted me in his life as much as I did,
, but he was  married, there was  nothing we could do but to quit, I had no plans of being a second wife, even if  he'd wanted me to and  more  strongly  my parents  wouldn't  have  given  their  consent! at that  point in my  life, my conscience  travelled to an unknown  destination,the affair seemed  okay and justified  as far as we were  concerned, we were in love, we made out, did several trips together, spent  quality times and  did  business,

Then the  break came when  my mom  found out,till date I still  can't  tell how she  did but she put her feet on the  ground and  saw us wave  goodbye to  one another, it was  devastating  for me,

I went  through  emotional torture,I thought  my world  has ended, but at the end we found a way out. We stopped talking for a long time and stayed away  completely from  each other.
After  over  three years, I am still  asking  God for forgiveness. I pray to not  have  the  man I will  marry  get into  similar  situation, I know  It'd be  heartbreaking for  me, I finally  found a  conscience.

You  see it is nature and the  law of attraction  does not recognise  relationship  status.

What helps someone out  is self control and  principle,
These are the  elements that will  help you  recognise the  vices in what you  think  feels good.

It is always about  being  considerate, putting  yourself in the  other woman's  shoes, asking questions, and being  sincere in your answers.

Can I let my husband  love another woman?

How will I  feel if my husband  is giving the  attention  I should  have to another  woman?

What  am I gaining  stealing  another  woman's  emotional  time  and sharing  her moment? Would  I want to  be her for one  day?

Would  I forgive  another  woman if I found out she's  wishing  my place was hers?

But do you  really  understand the  implications?

 The  man may get so carried away with you and  begin to  lose interest in  his wife ,these  may begin to  affect  his relationship with  his woman, he will  no longer be  comfortable spending time with her, their sex life  may begin to  ebb, he may start  comparing  times with  her and times with you, eventually  his attention  shifts  over to you and  the  woman  will  be plunged  into  agony.

Cracks will definitely  begin to  show and the  home  will be  distabilized and the  kids will  suffer the most, the  distance between their  parents  will  definitely  affect  them. meanwhile  you are somewhere enjoying  the  forbidden  love and playing the  devils  advocate.

You are  disturbed  he may have another  girl, but did you  for once  think about  how the  woman  he is legally  married to  will  be feeling  when she was also thinking  her husband  may be with you?

 Allow yourself to  step into the wife's  position  for one day ,imagine you  feeling everything you wished her and  everything  you  did with  her husband, imagine  her wishing them on you and  doing them with your  husband .

If you  feel  good, continue  because  one day soon, you  will be at the  receiving end  but if they make you uncomfortable, then send me a mail to receive  free tips on  Overcoming  unwanted  Feelings  and Beating  Obsession.
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