Omalee Blog : heartbreak
Showing posts with label heartbreak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heartbreak. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Married At Noon, Divorced Before Sunset, Why Should I Go Through It A Second Time?

 Hello Chioma,
 I am a fan of your  write ups, my name. is Irene. I am 32 years old. 
I have  been living with these  pain for the  past  five   years.

Everyday  I see reasons to pack out of  my  matriominal  home, to leave  my husband  of over  five years with  our  2  kids and walk away. 

Somehow I  find  comfort in  the  soothing  words  I hear from  my pastor and  your  articles  I read. 

Okay let me  not bore you with  my  long  story, but my marriage is a  living hell of a place for me. 

Firstly  on  the  night  after my  wedding ,I woke up in the  middle of the  night to use the  restroom and  found out my  husband  wasn't  lying  beside me,getting  closer to the  restroom  I could  hear noises  from one of the  bathroom,it was a studio  flat design at the  pent house  with  double  toilet and  bathroom , so it was  just two of us in there, I guessed  it was him, I got closer to the  bathroom and  peeped  through the  narrow  opening, I saw my  husband  standing  on his feet ,with  his head bent  backwards, he had his two  hands  on the  sink,a lady I didn't  recognise  knelt down in front of him sucking  his penis ,they were  so engrossed in their act that  not any one of them noticed  my presence,.
I opened my mouth to shout  but no sound  came out, my legs  wobbled under me, my body  felt  so light, I still  can't  recollect how I managed to get back to the  bedroom, remember it was  the  morning  before that I  said  "I do" to him and him to me. 

My husband  denied being the  one, he came in from the  front door and  claimed  he was at his family  private  meeting, I had refused  dressing up to meet  his  family and the  guests  coming in to greet us(the newly married)   I told him  to invite  my mother  to hear what I  wanted to  say but he refused, "We just  got married and it's embarrassing to  start  inviting  our  parents  to settle  issues  for us" he'd  insisted. 

Everything  I told  him I saw  I was  sure of but he denied  all, he insinuated   I might have  "slept walked ' because  he informed me of the  meeting even before he left  the  bedroom and  his family  members  all agreed they  had a meeting. 

The  second thing  I  had to endure was  the  calls at odd times, these were  private  calls, and it's  always  deep into the  early morning hours, few times  I closed  my eyes and  pretend  to be deep asleep, when ever  he was done with the  calls which  always ends with  "see you soon" he'd  blow kisses  before  walking  back into the  room, I have  checked the  number severally,it was a particular number I later found out belonged to a particular  woman. 

After the  first  months of our wedding, it was  practically  impossible for my husband to have  full erection, at first I thought it was  stress from work, so I suggested  he reduce  his schedules  and for sex to be for weekends  so he can rest well. 

It continued even after, we tried  home remedies, even got dirtier and  saw pornography  together  but it changed  nothing, I had to hold  his soft penis  with  my  hand  after  applying  lubricant and  massaging  it deeply, I will  push  his penis  inside  me with the  hand, it won't get to one  minute  before  he'd  climax  

It was  frustrating to  say the  least, but I loved  my  husband  and wanted for  us work , 
I couldn't  help but masturbate each time I  felt the urge for sex, my husband has everything in his favour, good  looks, agility and the  muse, what ever the  problem was  seemed  unfounded. 

I knew  he lied  everytime he tried to  make  me feel I was the  centre of  his life, I knew there's  some things  he was into  but I could not  say exactly what it was. 

Our first  baby came then the  second, at least  he can produce  fertile  sperm, just  seemed  impossible for him to make  me feel like a woman. 

It was  during  my visit to   our doctor that I  opened up and  shared  my  greatest  pain to him, he promised to  see my husband who was his  school  mate and day one  buddy. 

He told me to promise to never  let it out that  he was the one who told  me, I promised  him, that  fateful  afternoon, our family doctor told me that  nothing is wrong with  my husband  medically, he said  my husband told him that  he was never attracted to  me sexually, that  my naked body  doesn't  move  him, he only  married  me because  I was  hardworking and dedicated, he wanted a good woman for his kids, our family  doctor  told me my  husband  had a woman  he loved and he shared  fantastic  sex life with  her, he goes placid only  for me, he told me my  husband  confided in him. 

For me I had nothing  holding  me  to him, I have  been pretending to  have  him as my  man even though  I know  better, I know  I will  leave  him soon,  I will either  go with  my two  kids  or leave them with  his mother, I know  he  can kill me for them, I have started  packing  my  stuff gradually, I have  written a  note  I will  drop  for him on my  departure "My bone  ache carrying  the  weight of  everything you  promised, your  empty words were  heavy "

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Wednesday, November 21, 2018

5 Things You May Do That Will MakeYour Girlfriend Mad At You.

Talking About Other Girls

 The only thing you will get doing this is a headache and  blue balls,
Take  your girls emotional health into consideration, she will definitely feel you're not loyal ,maybe you're having secret admiration on the girl you talk about, she will feel she's not enough for you.

*Respect her emotions by showering her with all the compliments,don't dwell on talks about some other girl

Taking Time To Text Back

No woman wants to be ignored, she knows you have your phone in your hand almost all day so she expects you to text back as soon as possible.

*You may be busy with stuff,try to take  out little time to check your phone and reply her text after all she is also an important part of your life.

Lack Of Interest

 Men don't always understand girls logic, the interest is all encompassing.. Tell her words of  endearment, make her feel important and exclusive.

Your girl is out here trying to love you, she wants to be the centre of your life, she wants to be  involved in everything about you, Carry her along,involve her in the important decisions  you make,it will guarantee her safety with you.

Spending More Time With The Guys

Prioritize your time,she understands you will hang out with the guys but she expects you to also give spending times with her a whole thought.
Girls always want attention give it to her

Devoting Times To Other Girl's Online Activities.

She already started stalking and tagging her  the "other girl" she will feel disrespected when you use other girls  pictures on your dp,like their  posts.

You will not avoid following other girls on social media, it's  girls  problem,just be mild so you don't provoke jealousy in your girl.

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Thursday, November 1, 2018

Are You Finding It Hard Pulling Out Of Heartbreak? Here's 12 Healthy Tips On How To Get Over A Relationship.

Anabel wouldn't stop crying because Chuks  broke her into pieces and left her.She was  almost drifting into depression when her  friend introduced her to me,

Chuks and Anabel dated for 3 years,she felt their relationship was made in heaven,she gave no other man the space as all her heart, soul and body were dedicated to  loving Chuks.Anabel thought it was same for Chuks.

One evening while cooking in Chuks's kitchen she got a call from an unknown number,she picked up and a strange female voice said to her "Anabel the foolish girl,did you not know that your supposed boyfriend Chuks just paid the bride price of the girl he loved and you're in his kitchen cooking like the slave that you are?"

Anabel couldn't figure out who that was, all the attempt to get the caller to explain or introduce herself was in vain.Anabel left the kitchen to the living room and waited for Chuks to come back  maybe he could help solve the puzzle.

Chuks came back and denied ever knowing nor doing  such.He told Anabel to forget the caller and said it could be a mischief-maker or some random girls trying to create drama.Blinded by love Anabel believed Chuks.

But it didn't take long before the blindfold was removed off Anabel's eyes,for behold on that very day Anabel got that strange call,the night before Chuks spent the night with Anabel but left in the morning according to him he's visiting his aged father but the truth was that Chuks went to his village to pay the bride price of his soon -to- be -wife
Anabel knew nothing about this ,Chuks didn't give any hint whatsoever, he later returned to his house in the city and continued his love romps with Anabel leaving no traces.

Anabel's cousin found out and broke the ugly news to her,Chuks couldn't deny as all evidence was clear for all to see.

Anabel was broken and shattered.

When I met her and picked up conversation with her,she showed no interest but I continued, I didn't give up talking to her,at some point she told me to stop stressing myself that she appreciated my effort but that she already knew there's nothing left in her as all she felt and breathe was emptiness.

I continued sending her messages ,one morning while  resting on my bed some words started coming to me and I started writing them down,afterwards I read through them ,smiles crept in and lit up my face,

"Yes these will definitely sound interesting to Anabel" I said to myself, I copied these words and sent to her.

2 hours later I heard my phone ring.It was Anabel,when I picked up she said "Chioma these words are so soothing, thanks so much for sending them,I will definitely spend more time reading and meditating on them"

For once in the 3 months that I started a session with Anabel she said something positive. I was overjoyed and relieved at the same time.

It's been 3 weeks since I sent  Anabel  The Healthy Tips You Need To Pull out Of Heartbreak.
Anabel has been the one calling me ,every day she had one good thing to share with me, she suggested that I should reach out to other people like her with these tips as there are  thousands of people going through hell trying to overcome the nightmare called "Heartbreak".

So here we go!!an excerpts from my  Short book This Nightmare called Heartbreak.

I don't know what you're going through,I don't know the degree of your hurt,but I hope you will find some comfort in these words

 (1) Don't ruin  your life chasing  someone who wasted your time, let go of those who are already gone

(2)Just because you miss someone doesn't mean you need them back in your life, you can miss and move on at the same time.

(3) Sometimes you just have to be done,not mad,not upset,just done

(4)Cry as hard as you want to but  make sure that when you never cry again for the same reason or person .

(5)Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it,let it go

(6)It supposed to hurt,you loved them and they hurt you.Accept the pain and let go of what was.Be strong and brave, you need you

(7)They say the best way to get over heartbreak is to fall in love again, fall in love with yourself, it is the best relationship ever

(8)It is not fair that your heart got broken, that doesn't mean you should give up hope, close your ears to the world so you can hear yourself, the music of your soul to you lies within you

(9)The best revenge is to show them that your life is getting better after they're gone.

(10)Sometimes we don't know what we want, and we blame our unhappiness on someone who doesn't know either.

(11) Just because someone doesn't love you that doesn't mean you're unlovable

(12) The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.Be still so you can hear your own heartbeat singing you the best melody.

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