Omalee Blog

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

: Frienemies. Our Beautiful -Enemies >



 'Emma Ugolee wrote"Keeping frienemies is yet one of the lousiest concepts known to mankind "

Frienemeies (plural) a person with whom someone is friendly despite fundamental dislike or hatred.
'there exists companions disposed to break one another to pieces 'proverbs 18:24

The ironic co-existence of companionship and ill -wishes beats my mind
that a pair or group of people will be classified as friends for unmistakable reasons of how well they seem to get along and yet will nurse a well fed 'bad belle ' that cannot wait to see evil befall the other party is one too weird for my comprehension .clearly it takes legendary hypocrisy to sustain that companionship .this ones must have inspired the saying 'with friends like this who needs an enemy '?

On the flip side .a lot of people seem to enjoy this 'eye service ' kind of companionship. 'they are not for me yet I am doing well 'they see it as an energy booster,struggling within themselves just to prove the point that 'those who are for me are greater than those who are against me '
'let my enemies live longer and see what I would be in future" becomes the slogan. for those dwelling in this scenario ',what if the evil machinations catches you unawares? It'll take someone closer to you to unearth your jewels.surrounding ourselves with people of goodwill not only gives us peace. It keeps our minds at rest and helps us channel our energy into productive ventures rather than spending our time searching for phrases that could convey our mind's constructions to this group of people .

'Severing ties like that would portray more honour and dignity by my reckoning ' the veteran Presenter continued
Whatever happened to dinning with a long spoon once the devil is spotted. .?

So when next you have the need to put up the status'your plans will not work'on your BBM, WhatsApp,
Facebook and other social media space in reference to someone please ask yourself firstly 'what is the fellow doing on my contact list?"
Stop setting yourself up,lose bad company enough of the smiles on the face that brings stabs on the back. Let them go

Emma Ugolee is a seasoned TV host,A writer and the producer/presenter of the "all entertainment" talkshow "the gist" showing on hiptv channels 324 on dstv and 74 on gotv.
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Monday, April 15, 2019

After Six Years My Boyfriend Still Won't Propose.


Hello Chioma,
 I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 years and would consider us to be very serious. whenever I try and talk about marriage he doesn't like it and tells me to stop focusing on it, I love him so much and know he is the one for me why after all this time won't he ask me if he loves me the way he says he does which is unconditionally then I don't understand.I am 28 and he is 35,we are both working and earns salaries that can keep us comfortable.

My response

Alright honey, let’s break down your situation here before we start worrying about the proposal itself.

 You said that you consider your relationship of 6 years to be very serious?. Let’s say that one more time—YOU consider a relationship of 6 years to be serious. I would hope it is more than consideration you have at this point seeing  how long you have been together that statement should be a declaration of a known fact, that you are very serious and you both know that.

You said he tells you he loves you unconditionally?—he is lying, he loves you with conditions   and it is all about what is acceptable to him  in your relationship, and apparently talking about marriage is not one of those things. If he is telling you to stop focusing on marriage, it’s because he isn’t.

What would that marriage look like anyways? You being told what you can and can’t talk about, I'm wondering if he  has emotionally invested in this relationship, and all aspects of life being played out on his timeline, probably isn’t the healthy,loving relationship you are hoping for here,then again maybe that’s your thing.

But damn— assuming your little one comes in to tell you this same  story ,just pause and give her a reply,  I sure  hope you won't tell her to stick with this man because that is an awful story.
There's a huge difference between "trying to see how" and "not even thinking of it"

 I say forget the proposal, forget the relationship,Run. Run as fast as you can and one day you might turn around and see someone way better than this guy  has chasing you and you were busy wasting time,and I mean that in the good way—not the scary, rapey kind of way.

How long  are you  going to be in a broken relationship? how long are you going to  hold  brief  for a broken who   has no plans for the future with you?

You're  definitely  blocking  space for other people that  will  get attracted to you  by holding on to a baseless relationship.

Six years  isn't  6 months  .

He is committed to wasting you, if he isn't talking about marriage after 6 years then what's his plans?he won't talk about it and he won't let you talk about it too?

Tell him you're done and leave except you also don't have good plans for your relationship.

Supporting You
 Chioma
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Friday, April 12, 2019

4 Reasons Women Should Not Sleep With Panties On And Recommendations


Of all the parts of a  woman's body the vagina is the most delicate and  should be  handled with utmost carefulness.

Unfortunately most women don't know how to  take care of  their  vagina,"I found out I don't even know how to wash my vagina very well" a client once complained ,but  this article is not   meant to discuss about "how to wash the vagina" ,I have written something on that previously,

Being mindful of the what it takes to maintain good hygiene is the starter,knowing it's improper to wear certain materials  and knowing the right things to do  to help maintain a healthy vagina is the focus.

The vagina needs good ventilation therefore it is not appropriate for a woman to wear panties to bed,if a woman wants to keep a fresh healthy vagina then she shouldn't sleep with her panties on,not putting on panties at night after  bath   helps  to keep the vagina area dry.
(1) wash your vagina with mild toilet soap during bath,dry the area with clean dry towel and wear your lingerie or night gown.

Wearing tight jeans and leggings have health risks, these are in tune with  today's fashion but the health implications should be considered

(1)Avoid tight underwear to help  prevent vaginal infections
Tight and synthetic underwear cause the vagina to overheat and this could disrupt it's ecosystem
(b)it could trap warmth and moisture making the vagina vulnerable to infections.

(c)it can cause  vagina area to overheat and this can cause burning sores,itching or irritate the sensitive skin,it can as well  cause blisters,when we walk friction takes place,if one is putting on tight jeans or polyester underwear,the friction caused by walking on tight pants can  irritate the skin resulting to the formation of blisters

(d)vaginal   burning and itching  leads to vaginal discharge and this   is one of the major causes of  foul vaginal odor
(e)this infections when left untreated could lead to infertility as  it could damage the reproductive organ.

Recommendations

(1) Use cotton underwear  to enable sufficient ventilation of the vaginal area and eliminate infections.

(2)Cotton underwear helps to keep the vagina free of excessive moisture and allows the area to breathe

(3)use cotton menstrual pad,cotton absorbs excess moisture and removes build up heat from the area,cotton is the only material that can become stronger when wet and it's easily sterilized after use.

(4)Don't sleep at night wearing panties to keep  the vaginal area dry throughout the night and keep the vagina free from diseases.

If you have any concern / you have questions to ask or you want to learn more about vagina care you can send me mail chicrystal90@gmail.com


Supporting You
    Chioma
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Thursday, April 11, 2019

8 Sure Signs They Are The Right One.


So what happened to you? You wake up to reply to his or her  text messages in between sleep ?you're obviously in love and you miss this individual a lot,it is okay but that's not all,there are  more .

 If you  realise all of a sudden that you can comfortably be you  in this person's company to the extent you share your ugly part without  being  scared of giving yourself out too much,and this individual isn't even bothered about the things you call 'ugly",this individual doesn't shame you ,but always willing to be part of your good and bad side,then you have got a score for a significant other.

You can spend times together without saying a word ,but you're comfortable, you stop being afraid when this individual isn't saying anything, you know the both of you can share unspoken words in your subconscious

You become trusting, even in the midst  of  activities you didn't understand, you're always patient to hear them out firstly,and this individual definitely  gives explanations without feeling boxed in,a huge point for a significant other.

You're not afraid to show your emotions, your vulnerability is an energy ,for this individual   will protect you in all around rather than take advantage of  what you feel,buddy score this a point for a  significant other.

You're not in any competition,you're excited for their accomplishment,you support them and you treat their glories like it's your own,it's exactly what you get in return.

You fight for your relationship, knowing nothing in life is smooth and easy,you see this individual standing with you to protect what both of you have,not any one of you is losing interest in  seeing you become an item,it's a relationship worth having ,you're holding tight to it because it's a huge point for a significant other.

Making each other happy is the priority in your relationship,everything suddenly become spontaneous, morning texts, midnight check ups,you are always excited about them.

You're respecting each other's needs,giving space isn't a big deal for you, normally having alone time is important to every individual, for in such moment we let out  some stress and we're able to curate our dreams and find out what inspires us.,been able to understand and respect these part  of human life in your relationship is a huge point for a significant other.

I'm not saying it's a sure 100% guarantee for a roller coaster  healthy relationship but over 80% marriages that kicked up having these  attributes as  reference  surpassed autumn years.

Supporting You

Chioma
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Monday, April 8, 2019

10 Signs You're Getting Attached To Someone


When  you start finding it difficult to go a day without talking to them,no matter how much you  look for distraction, you can't just bear with not speaking or chatting with them.

You want to tell them everything that's happening in your life, whether good or bad they're the first person you want to tell

 You want to know how they're doing, how their day is going ,you just want them to bring you up to speed with events around them..

You start missing them a lot even if you just spent hours with them,you stalk them,you find yourself reading and re-reading chats and text you shared with them,you revisit conversations you had in your subconscious.

You want to be the centre of their live,no one else should matter but you , you get jealous the moment they begin to get close to other people

Feeling something strong for them makes it home natural for you, you are your real self around them  because they make you feel comfortable.

They readily come to your mind when the things you know they like happens, when you hear a song they like or their favourite sports comes up.

You share funny stories to them,you tell them jokes you've heard,you're simply excited involving them in everything you find exciting.

You want to mention them at every point, you talk about them even without reasons.

Their name  puts smiles on your face,any mention of them gets you excited.

You look for reasons to talk to them,you call to ask  small questions. It can't just go without  bringing them in.

Here you need to hold your breath and ask "Do they feel the same way too?"
So you won't  end up  hurting yourself, be sure the feeling is mutual otherwise start doing a work on your emotion to avoid yours being a "fatal desire".

Supporting You
Chioma.
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Monday, April 1, 2019

Why Do We Say Life Begins At 40?(The adolescent/teenage personality and conflict)



The transitional period between puberty and adulthood in human development, extending mainly over the teen years and terminating legally when the age of majority is reached i.e. youth.

 Adolescence can be defined biologically as the physical transition marked by the onset of puberty and the termination of the physical growth; cognitively it is viewed as changes in the ability to think abstractly and multi-dimensionally; and socially as a period of preparation for adult roles. It begins around 10, 11 or 12 years with variations existing among cultures and societies. However it concludes between 18-21 years of age. This is the stage we call the secondary school stage (11-18years).

According to Sigmund and Anna Freud, the adolescence stage is a turbulent stage of development because of the dramatic physiological and biological changes that takes place at this stage. It activates in the individual so many drives including the aggressive and sexual drives which were dormant during the latency stage. One of the difficulties the teenage experiences at this stage is the inability to be with the parents. Another great challenge for the adolescent as pointed out by Erikson is the increase in drive energy which may be disruptive, confusion also set in especially those poised by social conflicts and demands. The crisis is that of identity versus role confusion.

Conflicts arise between parents and children due to detachment during middle adolescence (age 14-15 years). But these conflicts eventually help in establishment of an independent identity. They develop their individual set of beliefs and values. By late adolescence (ages 16 onwards) the adolescents who are able to cope with conflicts with parents develop a ‘new sense of self’. Self dependence and a sense of responsibility become apparent. They develop a stable sense of identity and place in the society. They develop an identity distinct from their parents. However, those who are not able to cope with identity crisis end up in ‘identity confusion’. The Identity formation during adolescence is influenced by many factors like family and societal values, cultural & ethnic background and the socioeconomic status. Family dependence and relationships diminish and they develop a strong need for peer support and acceptance. With greater interactions with peers their social skills are enhanced & social and sexual behaviors refined. They are able to establish relationship with the opposite sex. Greater the adolescents’ conflict with their parents, greater the identification with their peers. By the time they are in late adolescence the adolescents are psychologically integrated, have developed a fairly consistent view of the outside world, they have set realistic goal in life and by now have discovered their role in the society.

If these remarkable events take place in the life of every teenager, a period of secondary foundation that leads to adulthood, a period where life goals are set…

My question is: why do we say life begins at 40 ?(imagine a 40years in primary school or even in secondary school)


Guest Post
Abalike Agbo is a priest of the Catholic Diocese of Otukpo, presently studying psychology at the Institute of Psychology of Pontifical Gregorian University Rome-Italy
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Saturday, March 30, 2019

I Can't Play That Role (To The Man Who Wanted Me)



Good morning,
 It was not a tough decision for me to make  because  I'm  guided by grace, as a human I may not be able to do this.
I weighed the  options, how is he going to feel? how will it sound to him? the  mental strength in every woman  comes to fore when  she is faced with a situation  like this, -standing for what is right and pleasing the  guy that  she  cherishes.

You remember the  day I asked If I can visit  Belgium?you  replied "What would I tell my  woman? " it's  simple to comprehend  for me.

There's a woman in your life ,she has been there  with you all along. coming in simply  means  I'd intruding.

Believe me at this stage  in my life I know  I am too valuable to be an after thought. I can't  play that  role.
It hurts  me to think  all I could  be for you is a bedmate,  I'd be the woman to  travel with you  and  meet you so we can have sex, eat, drink, have sex and sleep, wake up  and have sex  again and then  I'd  travel  back while  You travel  back to your  woman '

I jokingly asked you the plans you have for our "friendship" which has seen  us spending years together and doing businesses, I sincerely would have wanted something more than being "just good friends", I secretly wanted you and I hoped something better could come out, I didn't know about this " woman " whom you told me  her story two weeks ago,that was after three years of my friendship with you.

You  said  "I love your friendship, I appreciate your company, your intelligent contribution to the team ,I would love to have you in my life as long as you'd permit me ",and this was days after you told me you'd love me to move into your house  at Walnut, which was where you live and  work,your family lives in  Belgium,you visit them from time to time.

It's against my principles,I know what it took me to get to where  I'm  now and I am not ready to compromise.

It may sound strange but you'd have observed that I've  always being  careful whenever it's intimacy talks.
I'm not proving upright and prude  not at all.

I am only saying that  I am too good  to go sleeping with a man with a woman in his life. It is not my  style ,no matter  whatever  benefit that relationship  promises.

It  doesn't  mean I don't  value having you in my life but when it's  becoming obvious that your needing  me around you  is for fun, I'd  not be part of it.
my  self will be disappointed in her if ever  I belittle  me by getting involved in such  activities.

You made it clear that your residence in Belgium is a no go area for me because that's where the woman who has been with you since you were 20 years old lives,I can move into your house in walnut, have access to your cars and everything I want,you promised to pay me every month and make me a Life member of your team.

It sounds so good and sweet ,I would gladly accept this offers if you are single and working towards something tangible for you and I.

But it's all for amorous living, playing your side roles ,I'm sorry but I am not taking any part of it.I'm  ready also to drop my role for the team if it comes to that.

Thank you for the opportunity you gave me to try new things.
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